Because of You Read online

  “Okay,” Twin One says with a shrug.

  “But if you ever feel like talking, I’m Beth and this is Baby.” She smacks Twin One on the ass.

  “Got it.” Beth and Baby. I won’t forget their names even if I want to.

  I finally reach the bacon, but it’s gone. Not wanting to leave empty-handed, I put a waffle on my plate. Pour syrup over it and head back to the table.

  Collin, the boy Gina is gaga about, is sitting with her. They seem to be deep in conversation. He’s holding her hand, stroking it with his thumb.

  Aww, I think, knowing I can’t interrupt them. My bagel is still sitting on the table, but I’m abandoning it. Gina and Collin need their privacy. I search the crowded cafeteria looking for someplace else to sit, but everything is full and I don’t know anyone. The cheerleaders are sitting at the long table with a bunch of people. They keep glancing my way and whispering.

  “Come on. You can sit with me.” It’s Kyle.

  I’ve got mixed feelings about seeing him. He heads over to another small table. Two guys are already sitting there. When they see Kyle, they grab their trays and bolt. Kyle sits and then waves me over.

  As I’m sitting, he says, “Glad to see you all cleaned up.”

  “Was it you? Did you wash my face?”

  He nods. “Yeah, Gina helped though.”

  “And my clothes?”

  “Gina’s idea too.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I swear I didn’t look. Not even a peek.” His lips are curved up and I know he’s trying not to smile. I shouldn’t be paranoid. He’s been nothing but a gentleman.

  He touches my hand. “So what happened last night?”

  I knew he would ask me this, so I’m prepared. “I think it was seeing all the blood. It freaked me out.”

  He nods, takes a bite of toast. Then his face gets serious. “I get the feeling there’s more going on. There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

  It’s true. But I can’t tell him about his dad. What I saw. Even if I wanted to, I can’t make myself say the words. But I need to tell him something. “I-I saw my parents. When they died. I saw all the blood. They were laying in it.” Saying the words aloud makes me sick. But I’ve told him the truth. As much as I can.

  He squeezes my hand. “That makes sense. I’m so sorry. About your parents and last night. I lost my temper. Stuart Morris knows exactly how to push my buttons and I let him. Usually I’m more prepared. But when I saw him mauling you, I lost it.”

  I squeeze back. “He’s awful. Him and his six hundred dollar shirts can suck it for all I care.”

  Kyle laughs. “Agreed.”

  We eat in silence a few minutes. I haven’t had a waffle in a long time. It’s good. When I’m finished I look up. Kyle is watching me, and I wonder how long he’s been doing it.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Just admiring the view.”

  “Thanks,” I say, embarrassed. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

  He leans back in his chair. His face is unreadable. “What did Beth and Baby have to say?”

  My face bushes red hot. I can’t help it. “N-Nothing.”

  Kyle crosses his arms. “That you know their names and are blushing a beautiful shade of red tells me that isn’t true.”

  I look away, spinning the fork in the syrup still on my plate. There’s no way in hell I’m telling him what those girls said. I’d sooner die a horrible death than repeat it.

  He rests his chest against the table. I feel it give slightly under his weight. “Your silence speaks volumes, Maddie.”

  I glance at him through my lashes. His ice blue eyes stake me through the heart. He licks his bottom lip, and runs a hand through his hair. He’s beautiful. Sexy. Twin One and Twin Two said he tied them to a bed. Then what? I can’t help but think of myself tied to a bed. My legs spread apart. Naked. Nothing but the scented air touching places I’ve never touched. Am I tied so I can’t move? It seems so dirty.

  My face flushes hotter.

  “Talk to me,” he whispers, playing with my hand.

  I want to. I want to look him in the eyes and tell him everything. But not here. “Can we go somewhere? Want to practice our duet?” My “go-to” place.

  He smiles. “It’s Saturday.”

  “And?”

  He shrugs. “Sure. Let’s go.”

  We stand together. Take our trays and drop them off.

  I glace at the table where Gina and I sat. She isn’t there, and neither is Collin. I pull out my phone to text her, and see she’s already texted me.

  You and Kinky Kyle. Nice! =) I’m spending the day with Collin. Catch you later.

  Be safe.

  Don’t worry, VTG.

  I shake my head.

  “What?” Kyle asks, glancing over my shoulder.

  “Gina. She’s started calling me,” I pause and pull him down so that I can whisper in his ear, “VTG.”

  He gives me a confused look.

  “It stands for Virgin Tattooed Girl. She finds it hilarious that I’ve got tattoos but haven’t…” I can’t finish.

  Kyle chuckles, wraps his arms around my waist.

  Twin One says, “Get a room.”

  I feel Kyle’s body tense.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I say and wink, hoping that’ll relax him. I think it works because he takes my hand and we walk out of the cafeteria together.

  Maddie

  e practice our duet for thirty minutes. I’m having a hard time concentrating. I thought as soon as we got in the music room, Kyle would demand I tell him what the girls said. He didn’t. Instead we go to work. The duet is sounding great. Kyle plays with such emotion. Sometimes I think my heart will break with the passion radiating from his notes.

  Kyle looks at me. Smiles. “Had enough?”

  I have, but I don’t want to leave this room. When we’re here, together, it’s like nothing else matters. There’s only the music and us. “I guess,” I finally say.

  “Come here.” He says the words while quirking his finger at me.

  It’s the sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen. Walking is a challenge because my inner thighs are aching with desire.

  He pats the spot next to him on the piano bench. I sit and do what comes naturally. Play a song I’ve been working on. It’s simple. The right hand plays broken chords while the left keeps the beat. As I’m playing, thoughts of me tied to a bed while Kyle does things to my body. They flash through my head. My face warms. When the last note is finished, Kyle puts a hand over mine.

  “That’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

  “It’s still a work in progress,” I respond, enjoying a contented glow at his compliments.

  We sit like that a second, and then he asks, “What were you thinking about while you were playing? Why were you blushing?”

  I take a deep breath. Time to spill. “I was thinking about you and me in a secret room. I’m tied to the bed, and you’re doing things.” As I speak, my face burns. I’m too embarrassed to look at him, but I’m so glad I finally said it. Got it out there.

  “Why would you have thoughts like that?” Kyle whispers.

  I look at him then. His features are filled with an odd sadness, his jaws are clenched.

  “Beth and Baby. They said that’s what you did to them.”

  Fury replaces the sadness. He wipes a hand over his face. “What else have you heard?”

  I clear my throat. There’s no reason to backpedal. “I’ve heard you like your sex k-kinky.” I stumble over the last word, humiliated at saying it out loud.

  His features harden further. “Anything else?”

  I get the feeling he’s mad at me, but I’m not sure what I’ve done. “No,” I whisper.

  “No mention of whips and handcuffs?”

  Then I remember I texted him that when I thought I was texting Gina. “Oh, yes, that too.”

  My stomach is twisting with worry. He’s upset. Angry. I’ve seen what furious Hadleys look like. The end re
sult isn’t pleasant. I slide away, ready to stand, leave him alone. But he grabs me around the waist and pulls me back.

  “I think we’re through.”

  “We haven’t even started,” he says huskily.

  He wraps a hand around my neck, strokes it softly with his thumb. The movement sends tingles through my body and I’m grateful there aren’t any windows in the practice room.

  Shifting, Kyle throws one leg over the bench so he’s straddling it, then pulls me against him, leaning my head against his shoulder.

  The movement takes my breath away. The idea that he wants me causes my body to shudder.

  With both hands he pulls my hair off my shoulders. He takes the ponytail he’s made with my hair and wraps it around one hand, gently pulling my head back so it’s resting on his thigh.

  I gasp, closing my eyes, allowing my body to feel every delicious sensation.

  He kisses a necklace across my neck. Licks a trail from my ear to my shoulder. With both hands I trail up his thighs to his stomach, his chest, and into his hair.

  I shift so that I’m straddling the bench. His eyes are hooded, lusty. Focused on my mouth. I put my legs over his and he lifts me so that my chest is against his. “Kiss me.”

  I touch his face with my hands, suckle on his lower lip.

  He moans. “I want your tongue in my mouth, Freckles.”

  Glancing at his eyes, I smile and kiss him hard.

  “Maddie,” he whispers against my mouth.

  The sound of my name on his lips lights me on fire. I want more of his, to be close to him, in every way. His hands find their way under my shirt. He’s stroking my stomach, my back, and over the top of my bra. I can’t help but whimper in pleasure. It comes from a place inside I didn’t know existed. I clutch him tighter, hooking my angles together.

  His tongue explores my mouth. There’s a tension building between my legs every time his tongue delves deeper. The feeling is electricity and pain, a delicious ache. It takes my breath away.

  He presses me down so my back is against the bench and my head is half on, half off. My hair hanging over the edge. I watch him touch me, the way his hands move across my body. Fight for breath. Every cell, every vein, every minute piece of skin is blooming with desire. Kyle pushes up my shirt, and the tips of his fingers brush along my stomach. I realize he’s tracing my tattoos with his fingers. Taking his time. I let out another whimper. He leans down, and kisses my stomach, his lips and teeth explore down to the button on my jeans.

  My body is tuned in. Awake. Alive.

  A big smile cuts into my face. I sit up, desperate to have his mouth on mine again. It’s new. Kissing. Touching. I don’t know if he wants more. My body wants it all—but not yet. Kissing and touching is more than amazing.

  He cracks a grin. “What are you thinking?” he asks tenderly.

  I move my hands along his chest to his collarbones and down his arms. “I want to kiss you again.”

  He answers by covering my mouth with his, urging my mouth open and kissing me so deeply, so passionately, I feel it in my toes. His kisses are desperate, fierce, and hungry. I match his urgency, kiss for kiss. My tongue twirls and dances with his. It feels like we’re one. I’ve pressed my body so tightly against his I can hear and feel his heart beating. He’s mine, and I never want to let him go.

  Many, many minutes later, he slows his kisses. His breathing slackens. I match his pace. My lips are swollen and my face feels raw from the scruff on his face. He suckles my bottom lip, and I sigh. Content. Happy.

  “That was… You are…” I trail off.

  Kyle’s features are serious. Does he regret what happened?

  “What’s wrong?”

  He takes my hands, and turns them over, like he’s studying them or seeing them for the first time.

  “I’m sorry,” I say, realizing he probably wants more. That he’s used to much, much more.

  He grabs me and pulls me tightly against him. “Maddie, you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever known.” His voice is filled with tender astonishment.

  I feel the same way about him, but I can’t find my voice. We stay wrapped in each other’s arms a long time. Until finally he pulls me off the bench and walks me home.

  At the door he asks, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “I have a test to study for.”

  “Can I cook you dinner at my place?”

  My face lights up. “What time?”

  “I’ll pick you up at six.”

  Maddie

  o Collin? How’d you guys meet?”

  I haven’t told Gina about what happened in the piano room yesterday. The experience is too private, too sacred. Kyle and I practiced our duet and he invited me over for dinner. That’s all I said. She seems to think tonight is the night. I’m not sure, but my body wants tonight to be the night. It ignites with hunger every time I think of Kyle kissing me.

  I pull on my slightly baggy jeans and a white shirt and fluff my hair. I’m wearing it down and wavy. Lip gloss on my lips. Ballet flats on my feet.

  Gina hands me her heart necklace, the one she let me wear the other night. “Keep it. It looks better on you.”

  “Really? Thanks, Gina.”

  “No biggie.” She plops on her bed and flips open her Psych book.

  “Collin?” I remind her, rubbing on some deodorant.

  “Uh, fine.” She picks up her yellow highlighter and marks a line on the page. “He’s in my Biology class. He’s my lab partner. We talk. He seems to like that I’m crazy. And I like his pretty hair.” Gina slams her book shut and sits. “End of story.”

  I’m about to tell her she’s lying when there’s a knock on the door.

  It’s Kyle. The boy I’ve loved since I was nine. The man whose very presence makes my heart pound in a beautiful melody. My veins sing in harmony. And what he did to me with his thumb—my body trembles at the memory. The butterflies in my belly are back and pirouetting eagerly.

  Gina opens the door. “Hey.”

  “Hello.” He waves at her.

  I walk toward him like he’s gravity and I’m the moon. I’m can’t resist his pull. I don’t want to. I move into his atmosphere and bask in his radiance. He smiles at me. And I’m whole. The feeling shocks me.

  When I’m close, he reaches out his hand and I take it. My hand in his. Our hands together. It’s right. I know it. I know my parents somehow know it too. And they would approve. What Kyle’s father did has nothing to do with him. He is his own person, his own man. Kyle is kind, generous, giving. I can’t blame him for my parents’ deaths anymore than I can forgive his father. Life is what it is. I am who I am. Kyle is who he is.

  It’s time for me to move on.

  “What are you making her for dinner?” Gina asks, her hands clasped behind her back.

  He looks at her, and then at me. “I was thinking peanut butter and jelly?” He raises his eyebrows in question.

  Gina bursts into laughter. “Sounds about right.”

  I don’t comment, just smile and enjoy the easy tension between Gina and Kyle. I like that they get along.

  “Actually, I’ve got Chicken Cordon Bleu in the oven, a green salad in the refrigerator, some French bread, and chocolate soufflé for dessert.” Kyle looks at me when he says the word dessert, and my inner thighs quiver.

  “Who made it, your mommy?” Gina is teasing him, and under any other circumstance, it would be funny. But not with Kyle.

  I inhale. Glance at him carefully. His mother died when he was a baby. He doesn’t remember her, and he’s always been touchy about it. A few times, when I was over at Kyle’s house, his dad would fling around words about his mother, words like: whore, slut, and trash. I think his dad did it to make Kyle angry. It worked.

  And the way Kyle tenses, I know he’s thinking about everything I am, and more.

  Gina and her big mouth!

  I squeeze his hand. “Sounds fantastic,” I say, moving closer.

  He walks me to the door.<
br />
  “You two have fun.” Gina waves. She’s none the wiser about the pain she’s inflicted.

  I wave. “See ya, Roomie.” The smile on her face is tinted with sadness.

  I want to make her feel better, do something to ease her pain. But I’m not sure what that something is. At least there’s a beginning happening between her and Collin.

  I had a momentary worry when she kissed me the other night, but now I know it wasn’t about me personally. I owned a set of lips and she wanted a sober kiss. For some silly reason, I’m glad to have been a part of that. And hopefully with Collin she can have many firsts. A relationship. Maybe even love—if Collin deserves it.

  I glance at Kyle as we ride down the elevator. He’s watching me. Amused by something. His tension gone.

  “What?” I ask, leaning against him.

  “I love watching you think. Every emotion flashes across your face. You’re so open, so good. Are you sure you want to get involved with a guy like me?”

  I kiss him gently on the mouth. Suckle his bottom lip. “You’re the only guy I ever wanted to get involved with, Kyle Hadley.”

  Maddie

  help Kyle clean up after dinner. “You’ve got serious skills,” I say, placing the remainder of the salad in the fridge.

  “Thanks. I’ve been cooking for myself a long time. A guy can only eat so many PB&Js before he has to take matters into his own hands.”

  I force a laugh. We are suddenly moving toward territory I want to avoid. Talk about his home life, his dad. I know he can’t help what happened. I know it isn’t his fault, but I can’t talk about his dad like he’s some normal guy. He isn’t. He’s a murderer.

  Kyle closes the fridge and grabs my hands. “What are you thinking?” He brushes some hair off my face, stroking my cheek with his thumbs.

  “My aunt likes to cook strange meals.”

  He smiles, a little sad. “Like what?”

  I think a second. “Marinated meatballs in crisp taco shells was a weird one. Sushi with spaghetti, lima beans, and tofu.”

  Kyle makes a sickened face.

  “You want me to go on?”

  He chuckles. “Nah, I get it.” He takes both of my hands in his and pulls me into the living room. “Want to watch some TV?”