Because of You Page 19

  He leaves. The air’s thick with a tension I hadn’t noticed before. I glance at Kyle and we both start to laugh.

  “Are you staying with your aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving?” He stands and makes his way over. The butterflies in my belly flutter with eagerness.

  I swallow and clear my throat. “Yes. Are you going home? I mean, to your aunt and uncle’s?”

  He walks behind me, touches my back with his hand. Moves my hair out of the way and massages my shoulders.

  “Mmmmmm. That feels sooooo good.” I let my head hang forward, giving him easier access.

  His magic fingers knead the stressed muscles. Then move further down. I close the lid over the keys and lean forward.

  Kyle chuckles. “I take it you don’t want me to stop.”

  “I might have to hurt you if you stop.”

  “Got it, Boss.” His fingers move further down my spine.

  My body is humming in happiness. I think I could let him do this for hours. He moves along my waist to my sides, then presses in. My body responds like a light bulb flipped on and I whirl around, slapping his hands away. “Don’t tickle me.”

  He pulls me close, nudging my neck with his nose, his lips. My heart pounds against my chest so hard I think I’ll pass out. “I want you, Maddie Martin.” His hands slide under my shirt and his hands press my body tightly against him.

  I melt into him, hugging him. I want him too. But Evan’s voice is in my head. “Keep your knees together and your lips closed.”

  He straddles the bench so he’s facing me. I lean in. Mesmerized by his hands on my body. When they reach my neck, he lifts my face and kisses me. Long and deep, until I press into him, dizzy with pleasure.

  “Until break we’d better practice long and hard.” His voice is hoarse, filled with emotion.

  I mutter something incoherent, too focused on the gratification his tongue and lips are eliciting as he blazes a trail of hot kisses over my body.

  Maddie

  y Aunt and Uncle are waiting, Gina. Let’s go.” I’m trying not to act like an impatient bitch, but she’s making it difficult. At the moment she’s stuffing random clothes into a big black duffel bag. “We’re going to be gone three days, not two months. Jeans, tee shirts, shoes. That’s it. All you need.” I stomp my foot in frustration as I watch her ignore me. Open a shoebox and toss her black ankle boots into the bag.

  Gina looks up. “Almost done.” She pulls a short black dress off a hanger. “You never know when you might need a party dress.” She smiles big, and it reaches her eyes, a rarity for her. It finally occurs to me that she’s excited. To meet my family. A small piece of my heart melts. I’ve sensed something going on with Gina. I’m hoping during these three days—without boys, parties, booze, or drugs—she’ll tell me what that something is. “Ready,” she says, tugging on her black leather jacket and zipping it. Wrapping a red scarf around her neck.

  She walks over, tugs on my gray sweatshirt, and says, “Why the hell don’t you have a coat?”

  “Coats are for babies,” I say smugly.

  She snorts.

  We head down on the elevator, her with her big bag, and me with a small rolling suitcase. The elevator is crowded. Hot and stuffy. When the door dings open, we burst from the small container. I look at Gina, and she smiles.

  “This is going to be fun,” she says, pushing open Irvine Hall’s front doors.

  I’m about to agree until I see Evan. He’s leaning against Kyle’s Jeep. His ankles and arms crossed. He’s smiling, and my heart drops into the pit of my stomach.

  Kyle, I think, and frantically search for him. I see my aunt and uncle’s car. They are parked in front of Kyle’s Jeep. My heart is frenzied. I wonder if Evan knows who they are.

  “Hey Maddie.” Kyle appears on my left and wraps a hand around my waist.

  “Hi,” I respond, my gaze spinning back and forth between Kyle and Evan.

  Kyle kisses my cheek. “Let me help you with your suitcase.”

  “Um…” Evan points a finger gun at me and pretends to shoot. I look at Kyle. “That’s okay.” I walk a little faster, pulling away from his hand. “I’ll see you in a few days. ‘Kay?” My uncle gets out of the car and opens the trunk. A big smile is plastered on his face. I notice his dark hair is thinning in front. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket and tan pants. I’m so happy to see him.

  But then I panic. Walking over to my uncle feels like betraying him. Giving him up. Allowing Evan to know who he is. Although I immediately realize he probably already knows. Still, I pretend not to see my uncle.

  “Maddelena Eleanor Martin. Where are you going?”

  I skid to a halt. “Uh, sorry. I didn’t see you.” The words sound as lame as they are.

  Gina gives me a strange look. I’m about to give her an excuse when her phone chirps. She pulls it out of her pocket and looks at it. Then spins in a circle, like she’s lost something.

  “I’ll be right there,” I say to my uncle, holding up a finger. Then help Gina search for whatever it is she’s looking for.

  “Hustle. Your aunt is anxious to get home. Something about an I Dream of Jeanie marathon.”

  I see Collin the same time Gina does. She drops her suitcase. Runs. And jumps into his outstretched arms. They kiss. Their hands roaming all over each other’s bodies, like they can’t get enough. You’d think it’d been years since they’d seen each other, instead of hours.

  Collin says, “I changed my mind. My parents can suck it. I can’t leave you.” He glances at the bag she dropped. “Unless you have other plans?”

  “Oh.” She steps from his arms. “I-I…” She looks at me, her eyes pleading. But I can tell she doesn’t want to be one of those girls. The kind who choose the boyfriend over the best friend. So I save her.

  “Gina’s so sweet. She was helping me with my bags.” I pick up her bag and whisper, “You owe me.” I smile.

  She smiles back. Mouths, “Thank you.” Puckers her lips in an air kiss. Out loud she says, “I’ll see you when you get back.” She hugs me. “Love you, Maddie. Thanks.” She pushes me back, looks at my face. “You’re like the best person I’ve ever known.”

  I hug her again. “Ditto, Gina.”

  She glances at Kyle, who is having a heated discussion with Evan. “Don’t do anything.” She stops. “What am I saying? Do lots of crazy stuff.”

  I laugh. “Thanks. I will.”

  She sidles up to Collin and kisses him like they’re alone—or should be. They walk away together. Arms around each other. It’s really sweet.

  My uncle grabs the bag off my shoulder and tosses it in the trunk. I roll over the other one. “This one, too.”

  He throws it in, and then hugs me tightly. “Missed you, kid.” He ruffles my hair like I’m five.

  I pat my hair back into place. “Missed you, too. Thanks for coming to get me.”

  He guffaws. “Of course.” Uncle John opens my door. I slide in behind my aunt.

  “Hey, honey,” Aunt Eliza says.

  “Hi.” I get buckled, and my uncle starts the car.

  “Did you need to say good-bye to that boy?” He looks at me in the rear view mirror.

  I peek out the back window. See Kyle’s looking my way. I wave. Either he doesn’t see me or he’s mad. He turns away and climbs into his Jeep. The wheels squeal as he pulls away from the curb.

  “I guess not.”

  My room looks the same as it did the day I left. Pale green walls, cream curtains, shelves full of books. An antique desk and chair and my queen-sized bed. I toss Gina’s bag on the bed and set my suitcase next to it. Unzip it and pull out my music. The first thing I want to do is play piano. My piano.

  I climb down the stairs and head straight for the black baby grand. Lift the top and push back the lid.

  Scales first. I play for a few minutes, then alter my bench. Play more scales. Then I run through the duet I’m going to play with Kyle.

  When I finish, there’s clapping from the kitchen.<
br />
  “That’s beautiful, Maddie.”

  “Thanks.” I fiddle with some chords, playing the melody that’s been rattling around in my head the past few days.

  “Dinner’s ready.”

  I stand. “Did you need some help? I can set the table,” I say, entering the kitchen.

  My aunt wipes her eyes. “No.” She hugs me tightly. “It’s good to have you home.”

  My uncle is already waiting at the small oak table and I sit across from him in my regular spot. Aunt Eliza brings over a plate of burgers. They are covered in melted cheese and bacon. Instead of buns there are glazed donuts. I raise my eyebrows in question.

  “A celebration dinner,” Aunt Eliza says.

  Uncle John puts two glazed donuts on his plate. Stabs a hamburger patty with a fork and places it on top of one of the donuts. Slaps some lettuce, tomato, and catsup over the top. Sticks the other donut over it. Lifts it to his mouth and takes a bite. A little catsup squishes out the side of his mouth. He wipes at it with a napkin. “Not bad.”

  I shrug. Repeat the process. “Alrighty then.” I take a bite. Chew. My uncle’s right. It isn’t bad. It’s actually kind of tasty. I take another bite.

  Eliza laughs. “See, John dear, she likes it.” She grabs a cookie sheet full of fries and dumps them into a bowl. Brings them over along with a container of caramel. “Would you like some fries with that?” She smiles brightly.

  I giggle. “Most definitely.”

  Uncle and I give the caramel fries a taste. The combination is actually surprisingly delicious. John seems to agree because he’s nodding.

  I can’t help a surge of love for these two amazing people. For years I held on to anger over the fact that they hadn’t helped me punish Kyle’s father, but over time I realized they were doing what they thought was best for me, and I couldn’t be angry at them for that. In their house there was strange food and awkward movies, but more than that, there was love. I felt it strong, stronger even than the memories of my parents. I grab their hands and squeeze. “I’m so glad to be home.”

  Kyle

  “Kyle. You ready to go, man?” Evan bursts into my room as I’m throwing a pair of socks in my bag.

  “Yeah, almost.” I zip the duffel bag and throw it over my shoulder. “Ready.”

  He laughs, and something about it sounds strange. “Cool. Let’s go.”

  I shrug. Evan is weird, and he’s been extra jumpy lately. I figure it has to do with his shady business dealings, but I don’t want to know what’s going on there. Punching out that guy had put me in danger. Evan had told me to watch my back. But I hadn’t seen those guys since that night and was glad of that. Evan was an idiot to get caught up with them. But it was his idiot choice. We walk out of my apartment and I lock the door.

  “Let’s take my car,” Evan says.

  “You sure, man?”

  “Get in, asshole.”

  His red SUV makes a double beep sound. I pull open the back door and toss my bag in the seat. Evan’s bag is back there as well. We live ten minutes away from his parents’ house, but it’s easier to have our stuff there. Especially since they want us to stay with them. Evan revs the engine, and we take off.

  “So, what’s up Maddie’s ass? I thought you and her were a thing? She can’t even talk to you. Too good for you? What a bitch.” He pulls out of the parking lot and onto Decatur Street.

  “Shut up, Evan. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” But he’s got a point. Why did she blow me off? I thought we were past that. I’m so mad and getting so sick of her whiny shit. I mean, I have problems too. My parents are dead, but I don’t act all hot and cold from one second to the next. “Damn.”

  “Exactly, man. I mean, what the hell?”

  I turn on his radio. No longer interested in listening to Evan. Heavy Metal screams through the speakers. It rips right through me and pushes out all the shit brewing inside.

  Evan misses the turn that’ll take us to the house, and I look over. “You stoned?”

  “No. We need to make a stop first.” He seems nervous. Too smiley.

  I look away. “Fine. Whatever.” After several more minutes, we pull up in front of an old worn-down warehouse. There are buildings on either side of it and across the street. One looks like an airline hangar. “This isn’t creepy. What do you have to do here?” I ask the question but I think I know. More shady shit.

  Evan grinds his teeth together. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

  He puts the SUV in park and climbs out. I follow. He’s walking toward a set of rickety stairs that leads up to an even ricketier old door. When I step on the bottom step, it creaks. The wood banister shakes under my grip. Evan produces a set of keys from his pocket and unlocks the door.

  He opens it. “Let’s go. I’m in a hurry.” I follow him up.

  As soon as he closes the door, I feel a slight prick in the back of my arm. I turn, thinking he’s poked me with something, and realize he has. It’s a needle.

  “Lights out, bro.”

  I feel myself fall, unable to control my limbs or my mouth. If my fists worked I’d kick my cousin’s ass.

  As it is, I’m suddenly beyond tired.

  Maddie

  y pajama tank top smells like Kyle and I can’t help but inhale, enjoying his scent. I pull out my phone, wishing I could text him. It’s only been eight hours since I’ve seen him, but it feels like forever. He’s the last person I think about before I fall asleep and the first person I remember when I wake. If I had to choose to spend a lifetime with one person, it would be him. Without question. And it really hits me. I’m not in love with the boy Kyle was when we were eleven. I’m in love with the man he’s become. The man who could so easily have anyone, but chose me.

  And I want to tell him. I want to call him up, ask him to meet me, and tell him face to face that I’m irreversibly, undeniably in love with him.

  Which is crazy, right? I mean we’ve kissed. Had some serious make out sessions. But I’m still a virgin. Am I being naive?

  I need to talk to Gina.

  Quickly I text, I love Kyle.

  Her response comes back: Bullshit. You can’t love someone you haven’t slept with. My recommendation: Lose your virginity. Kiss at least three more boys, and then get back to me.

  I snort. Text: I don’t want to lose my virginity to anyone but Kyle. He’s the only person I ever think about… when I think about those kinds of things.

  Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You have those kinds of feelings? I thought your insides were all sunshine and rainbows.

  Rude. And I’m not a prude. Occasionally there is a…storm. And it involves Kyle.

  You’re weird. Whatever. You love him. But is it enough to forget about the past? What his father did?

  That’s a very good question. One I don’t have the answer to. I decide to change the subject. How’s alone time with Collin?

  Awesome. Getting ready to party. Want to talk more tomorrow?

  K. He’s nice to you, right? Treats you with respect?

  He’s wonderful.

  Good. Be safe.

  You too. :)

  I put in a CD and push play. My aunt and uncle are downstairs watching TV, but I still keep the music low. I sit on my bed, wrapping my arms around my waist. I’m already feeling antsy. Craving a party and the lovely, warm feelings that accompany a couple of drinks. Flopping back against my pillows, I try to get lost in the music. It’s Gina’s favorite band—Black Veil Brides. I’ve decided the lyrics aren’t horrible. In fact, they’re kind of poetic. The lead singer’s voice is deep, low. I’m almost lulled to sleep when I feel my phone vibrate on my stomach.

  Can I see you tonight?

  I check the number. It’s from Kyle.

  Um, probably not. It’s late. I would love to see him, but I don’t want to risk it. He told me he’s staying with Evan. If he were to leave, that would mean Evan would know. I can’t take a chance.

  I really miss you. And I didn’t get to give you a proper goo
d-bye kiss. Please.

  I sigh.

  Aren’t you tired? I text back, laughing. It’s really sweet that he’s talking to me, though. I was worried he might be mad.

  Nah. Plus, I’m parked outside your house. Come down.

  I jump off my bed and pull back the curtains. A large oak tree sits in the center of my window, but because it’s winter I can see Kyle’s Jeep through the leafless branches. It’s parked across the street beside a large snowdrift.

  My aunt and uncle are still awake. I can’t. My heart is racing. I really do want to see him. The curtains fall back into place and I search the room, trying to think of an excuse to leave the house. Nothing is coming. My phone vibrates.

  Are you five? Just tell them you’re going out with friends.

  Holy crap. Duh. I should be afraid for Kyle. Because of what Evan said, threatened. But since he’s already here, there’s nothing I can do about it, right? And if he’s here then he’s safe. At least for now. Fine. I’ll be right down.

  I run a quick brush through my hair. Pull on his sweatshirt, the one he let me borrow. Grab my black Uggs and slide them on. Then run downstairs.

  “Hey, I’m going out with friends. I’ll be back later.” I open the front door.

  “Hold up, darling.” Uncle John walks into the foyer. “Where ya heading?”

  I shrug. “Out.”

  “With whom?” Aunt Eliza asks.

  I can’t tell them its Kyle. They wouldn’t understand. “With some people from school.”

  “People?” Uncle John deadpans.

  “Fine. It’s a boy.”

  Aunt Eliza steps forward, but I run down the steps. “I’ll be back in a while.”

  “You have your phone?” Uncle John asks.

  “Yep,” I say.

  “Have fun. And remember the Titans,” Uncle John adds, tapping his nose.

  “Um, okay. I will.”

  Uncle John shuts the door.

  I dash across the street. Kyle is wearing a hoodie so I can’t see his face. I hurry to my side, and open the door.

  “Hi,” I whisper as I jump in.

  “Hi yourself, Pudgy Mudgy.”